Expressions On Caring

by Lupita Carrasco

What is it to care? How does the act of giving time and energy affect the sense of self?

In 2002, I brought my mother home to live with me. She had been living in Mexico with two of her siblings for seven years after going down to visit and then refusing to leave. Upon arriving in Mexico, she was already dealing with hypothyroid and schizoaffective disorder. By the time I returned with her, she had also developed diabetes and a severe infection in her mouth from tooth decay after years of refusing any form of medical care. In her years living in my grandparents’ home, my mother cut all buttons and zippers from her siblings' clothing. She stole objects like keys, lightbulbs, doorknobs, and even a cherub sculpture that she broke off the wall of the church in her hometown. The once joyful family home was left in a depressing and run-down state under the weight of her illness.

“Expressions On Caring” is a singular, personal view into the everyday realities of my caregiving experience. If you have been in a caregiver role, your struggle is simultaneously unique and universal. It is my hope that more people will recognize that the giant, exhausting responsibilities and sacrifices lived by those of us who choose to do this work are not inevitable. With the active support of both family and community, the burden of caregiving can be lightened, preserving the caregiver’s health and bringing better care for longer.

21 years of caregiving has brought me here, to a place where I am ready to look at this experience in depth. The days of rushing to place my mother above all else have changed. I am on a journey to learn new ways of responding and prioritizing that don’t leave me last on the list. In reflecting on our years together, the complexity of raising a large family, and trying my best to manage my mother’s mental and physical well-being, I have found her care is interwoven with every aspect of my life. I find notes about appointments, nurses station phone numbers, and medication changes jotted down in my sketchbooks. In my darkest days and sleepless nights, I write and paint about my experience and daily struggles. The work is a continuous prayer, the work is therapy, the work is a path to deep understanding, and permission to speak on my reality.

About the Artist

Lupita Carrasco is an artist, wife, and mother of seven children. Since 2002, she has also been the sole caregiver to her mother, who suffers from schizoaffective disorder. She was born and raised in San Diego, California. Her tumultuous childhood and vibrant Mexican culture lend their voice to her artistic language. Existential connectivity, intimate wonder, and belonging are familiar themes found in her paintings. 

Lupita’s work revolves around survival. Allowing herself to break open in the most vulnerable of places, she explores how trauma affects self-worth, self-care, and the ability to love and nurture others. At the heart of her artwork are family, friends, and the environment she is intimately acquainted with. She pairs images from hikes, interactions between her children, mothering activities, and places she longs to be, showing a perceived interpretation of the self, familial relationships, and the monotony of domestic obligations. As a mother perpetually caught between raising her own children and mothering a parent, art is an avenue for processing her measure of the human condition. 

 www.carrascoart.com

Image: Todas Las-Paletas, Lupita Carrasco, oil painting, 2023 

IMPORTANT DATES

Exhibition on View
March 2 - 11, 2023

Opening Event

Thursday, March 2nd, 5:00 - 8:00 p.m.
GOCA Project Space, Ent Center for the Arts

Gallery Talk

Thursday, March 2nd, 6:00 p.m.
GOCA Project Space, Ent Center for the Arts